Sunday, October 26, 2008

strip clubbaments

Went to the Spearmint Rhino last night with some poker players. I kind of hate going there as I find it to be a huge waste of money and also somewhat depressing, but I decided to tag along anyway.

The guys I were with were pretty ballin', so they decided to get a table and bottle service at the club. Sitting in the VIP section of the Rhino, the girls come to you in droves assuming you are looking to throw a couple thousand down the tubes. If you've ever been in the Rhino at all, you know that the girls kind of don't leave you alone and are pretty aggressive at times, to the point of being really annoying. They are also completely transparent about trying to get the most money out of you as is humanly possible, which makes me usually huddle in a ball and act like the poor crazy homeless guy that somehow wandered in.

After sitting in our booth for a while, one of the guys named Ben told me "Hey, let's play a game."

Being kind of bored, extremely drunk, and competitive, I agreed. "What's the rules?"

"Think of the most fucked up hilarious thing you can say to a stripper, then say it."

"Sounds good to me."

A few minutes later with the game on, a young White girl in a string bikini came up to me and whispered, "Hey, you look pretty cute. Wanna party?"

I looked at her, paused, and asked "Actually, do you think I can just look into your eyes for a minute?"

She rolled her eyes, probably used to guys trying to pick her up. "Haha, sure babe," she chuckled.

A moment of silence passed, as I gazed deeply into her eyes. She began giggling nervously and fidgeting with her hips, eager to start dancing and end the awkward silence. I leaned over to her ear and whispered, "You know what?"

"What's that babe?"

"You look exactly like my mom. That's so hot. Can I have a dance, mom?"

"What the fuck? What are you, some kind of weirdo," she laughed as she started to walk away.

"Will you at least tell me you're proud of me?" I yelled as she left.

Ben was howling, rolled up in the corner of our booth. "OK, you win, I don't think I can top that," as he paid me the wager of our bet - one dollar.

I then proceeded to drunkenly shove the entire dollar in my mouth and begin chewing for no apparent reason. It was at this point while straining to think of what to compare the taste of a dollar bill to that I realized, "Hey, it's probably time to go home."

The answer I came up in the cab was sand, in case you were wondering.

Friday, October 17, 2008

props and profiling

I was playing in a game yesterday with 4 Scandinavian players that are all 5/10 6max regs on stars. It was 6 in the morning and our 2/5 was the only nlhe game going, so they all sat down together and proceeded to 3bet almost every pot preflop. The local rocks were petrified stiff and one tried to get all four of them kicked out by asking the floor to check their IDs.

These guys were all very talented online players, but it was really obvious they had very little experience playing live. They were really clumsy with their chips and one had a very obvious physical tell in which he would swallow after about 15 seconds when he bet and was weak. I played in a decent amount of pots with him since I had position on him, and on one noteworthy hand, I flatted his $20 raise in EP with AhJx, called $30 flop bet, called $65 on the turn, and called $150 on the river on a final board of Qh 5h 6x 2h Kx, giving me the nut nonpair. I took about 3 minutes on the end since it was a pretty hero/idiot call, but I was sure he was just 3barrelling with total air and just prayed he didn't accidental valuebet with 22 or something like that.

Afterwards, he told me that I was one of the best postflop players he had seen in his trip to Vegas and one of the absolute worst preflop players, which is probably very accurate on the second count.

As a bleeding heart liberal, I find it kind of fucked up, but I definitely profiled him in making this decision. Whenever I see a scandi, I know that he is going to be ridiculously aggressive and love to gambol. French guys are almost universally terrible and calling stations. Likewise Armenians.

Of course, young Asian guys are crazy tough with huge egos to boot : )

Thursday, October 2, 2008

September

Hah! A month that was so good followed by a month that was so bad. That's the way this game goes.

Everything that went right for me last month turned around this month. It was kind of weird too because all of my friends were running horribly this month as well. Saw a couple of my buddies lose $2k+ on craps, which is a lot when you're making $50-100k/year. Luckily I don't like the table games. This was easily my worst month ever expectation-wise and I ran well below what I should have, but I ran above what I should have last month and have probably been above expectation for the year.

I went on vacation this month for 10 days to go back to Chicago and see if I wanted to go back to work in the nonprofit sector. Ultimately, the lucrative $14k salary just wasn't enticing enough. I realized that getting up at 3pm, dressing in whatever you want, and never having any responsibility is pretty nice, although the stress from running bad caused me to have a pit in my stomach all week.

I think I'm going to start posting more in 2+2 and spending more time in general studying the game. Right now I feel like I'm not learning any more, which is the death knell for any poker player.

Thinking of budgeting on $14k though made me really realize how much $$ I am wasting. Also, reading this guy's blog (VeganMav on 2+2, of whom there is a famous thread) is pretty inspiring. He's a high stakes LHE pro that just tries to save as much as possible to give to people less fortunate than him. Eats out of dumpsters to save every penny. He is pretty much my hero.

Hours: 92.5
Total Earnings: $2,374
Hourly: $25.66
YTD: $42,144